Heart talks

a boastful heart

December 29, 2009

You always seem to know everything. You always seem to have the brightest idea. You can never go wrong. You always portray the role of the righteous one, the one who doesn’t have any mistake not even a pinch of error.

It was so easy for you to find faults in others. You’re very used in pointing an accusing finger if something went wrong. You have a great memory in remembering the wrongs committed by others but a hard time in keeping in mind the good deeds they have done.

You ardently speak of the wrongs committed by others; you say it straightforward to their faces, while there’s always hesitancy and untruthfulness when you verbalize their goodness. And the most, there always is sarcasm in the tone of your praises.

All these you perform as if they are part of your system. Just like the normal stream in a river. Like the thunder in a storm. And I wonder how you do it so spontaneously.

Is it because at the back of your indifferences is cowardice? At the footprints of your meanness are your hidden insecurities? At the tail end of your mockery is your true weakness?

And to these, I say…

I feel sorry for your boastful heart.

Posted by araw at 10:08 pm | permalink | Add comment

a place for one’s heart

December 23, 2009

A place where there exists nothing but love, where hope is in everyone’s heart, Where happiness is the smell of the wind and fulfillment overflowing;

A place where hatred does not exist, where pain can’t be felt, Where sorrow has long been forgotten and failure has lost its meaning.

A place where people can’t find fault on others, nor have the chance to curse anyone, Where vindictiveness does not survive and pride had given its last breath.

A place where truth always prevail, where lies cannot be uttered, Where justice is freely given and freedom owned by everyone.

A place where love is the answer, where unconditional love always finds a way, Where understanding is the healer and humility is the leader.

A place like this for everyone, as our Creator had given us, A place where all of us should be and forever be.

Posted by araw at 2:58 am | permalink | Add comment

an open heart

December 20, 2009

Kaya ko nga siguro ang lahat ng problema, lahat ng pagsubok…maliban sa isa. Dito lagi akong nalulugmok, laging talunan…pagdating sa puso. Ah, kung matuturuan nga lang ang puso, para hindi na ito masasaktan. Lagi ang sinasabi ko sa IYO…”nahihirapan na ako”. Humihingi ng tulong. Bawasan ang sakit. Pero sino nga ba ang tunay na may gawa ng pasakit? Ng kirot sa puso ko? Hindi ba’t ako din? Dahil pinayagan kong mangyari. Pagod na akong umiyak. Pero sino nga ba ang may dahilan ng pagluha ko? Hindi ba’t ako din?

Hindi ko alam kung alin ang susundin ko. Nararapat bang kaisipan ang maghari? O maging alipin ng puso? Sadyang napakahina ko, napakaduwag. Saan ko dapat kuhanin ang lakas upang gawin kung ano ang dapat? Saan makikita ang kasagutan sa mga pag – aalinglangan? Kulang ang paningin ko para makita ang katotohanan. Kulang ang talino para malaman ang totoo. Kulang ang tapang upang gawin kung ano ang wasto. Tulungan MO ako…ayoko na muling magkamali. Hayaan MO na mapakinggan ko ang boses na magbubulong sa akin kung ano ang nararapat. Mas palakasin MO ang boses ng katotohanan.  

Kung luha ang kabayaran para matuto…kung sakit at hapdi ang guro para maging tama ang lahat…tatanggapin ko. Hirap na ako. Hirap na laging kapiling ay ang luha…ang hikbi…ang sakit. Talaga bang kailangang masaktan kapag nagmamahal?

Ako nga siguro ang may kasalanan kaya ako laging nasasaktan. Kaya dalangin ko…turuan MO ako. Ituro sa akin ang tama. 

Para bukas sana…sana… hindi na ako iiiyak.

Posted by araw at 9:13 pm | permalink | comments[1]

mean heart

December 17, 2009

” it is far more frustrating

 if we are unable to say what we mean,

rather than saying what we don’t mean”

Posted by araw at 10:30 pm | permalink | comments[1]

a reconstructed heart

December 15, 2009

What could be the reason why I get so affected by you? What could cause that great emotional impact? Why do I get disturbed? What’s the reason behind the twisting of my wits?

Could it be because…

Every chamber of my heart constitutes you. The blood that runs through my veins is oxygenated by your presence. My blood cells are nourished by your mere existence.  

I remember then…

It’s joy even when you just give a glance. I can’t explain the happiness when I see your smile. It’s blissfulness when I hear you sing with laughter. It’s heaven experiencing   your care and affection.

I can’t endure a day without even a simple hello.  I stumble and fall with your simplest annoyance. I worry much even with your fanciest hurts. And it’s my death when I see you cry in despair.

Everything then was you. The world evolves because of you. The chlorophyll of every leaves is you. The metamorphosis of a cocoon will not be complete without you. You serve as the melody to every song. You are the fox of the Little Prince, the Rose he was forever faithful with. You are the ocean beneath the sunset. And yes, you’re even the rainbow after the rain.

All these I have made to be recognized by you. Everything I perfectly allowed to be realized by you, to be appreciated and accepted by you.But what return had there been?You brought tears into my eyes. I was shattered with anguish, bursting in sorrow. You have caused pain into my nerves. I was crawling in agony, yelling in grief. You have ripped the muscles of my heart, causing me to be living like dead. 

And worst, I can’t do anything, for I can not hurt you in return. Because if I do, the more pain it will cause me.

So finally… 

I will just have to numb my nerves; it’s the defense I can only have, in order for me to have….

a RECONSTRUCTED HEART… 

Posted by araw at 11:47 pm | permalink | comments[2]
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