goodbye to my foolish heart

and now i say goodbye to my foolish heart,

my foolish heart who had been numbed from the pains you have caused; my foolish heart who had been blind while you were abusing my weakness and using my strength; my foolish heart who had been deaf from all your sarcasm; my foolish heart who did nothing but to apologize even to my uncommitted mistakes.

and now i say goodbye to my foolish heart,

for i will stand up and rise to live a new life, i shall never allow myself to stumble and fall again from your unworthiness, i shall grow and let you go, i shall reach the shore and embrace the rainbow, i shall wipe my tears away and bring back the glow into my eyes, i shall paste that smile into my face that will be the reflection of my self contentment and happiness.

and now i say goodbye to my foolish heart, and still say thank you for the moments we have shared, to pay gratitude for your time, to be indebted for allowing yourself to be a part of my life.

and now i say goodbye to my foolish heart,

my foolish heart who had become tired of giving that unconditional love…

my heart in scribbled memories

it was just an accident, a mere coincedence, i happen to see your blog that had created an impact. i can’t resist myself to search back and read each phrase you have inscripted, and  as i decipher every line, it’s as if i was the person behind. 

and so i’ve said to myself, i have to meet you in time, to share your thoughts, your standpoint and the emotions behind those words.

and rejoice, it came to be, its realization in harbor view, beneath the stars and the soft breeze of the wind, as the water rushes to the shore, i have discovered how you transfer life’s realities into literature. 

and as we uncover each other, in every moment that we have shared, the realization is in me that the woman in front of me, was no longer new to me. 

and i thank God for the opportunity of allowing me to know, the woman behind the conceptualization of the scribbled memories.

pusong napagsamantalahan

bakit hindi ko magawa na limutin ka?  bakit hindi ko magawa na iwanan ka? kahit na yaring puso ko, maga na sa kirot, suko na sa hapdi at pasakit na dinudulot ng mapaglaro mong puso.

bakit hindi ko magawang maging manhid sa iyong pagwawalang bahala? bakit hindi ko magawang malunod sa patuloy mong hindi patugon sa damdaming sa iyo aking inuukol?

paulit - ulit ko mang alalahanin, marami ko mang beses bilangin ang sakit at kirot na ibinigay mo sa akin, pilit ko pa ring nabibigyan ng kadahilanan at muling napagtatakpan at sa kalaunan napapalitan ito ng paniniwala na ganyan talaga ang pagmamahalan.

hangal nga siguro ako at hindi ko malisan ang mundo ko kung saan tanging ikaw ang kabuuan.

kaya isa lang ang aking kahilingan, itong puso ko, huwag mo sanang pagsamantalahan

a change of heart

when you gave all that you can give…when you have offerred all that you have…when you have defied all obstacles and conquered all challenges…

when you have shed the last drop of your blood…breath the last oxygen in thin air…spent the last energy in your body and consumed your last brain cell…

ALL FOR THE SAKE OF DUTY AND RESPONSIBILITY

should return be expected? should appreciation be anticipated? should recognition be considered? You must be thinking it should be, you maybe saying absolutely…

BUT…what if it did’nt happened? what if it passed unnoticed? what if it was not reciprocated?

should a CHANGE OF HEART be considered? 

tell it to my heart

Was it worth it? When i chose to be with you on those days? Are you the one that I should continue to live for? Should i hold on to the belief that you also care? Was I right when I said that deep in your heart, there’s a wall where my name has been engraved? Should i continue to hold on?                                                                                                   

They say, i was just the one pushing myself to you. They say, it was just an illusion thinking and expecting for the care and the affection to be reciprocated. They say that all that you do is to be the receiver, seldom the giver. They say that I should not continue to love you, because you have not loved me in return. They say that I should start my realization of the big truth that there is more hurt than laughter in being with you. They say that I should finally accept the fact that you are there only when you need me and never when I need you.                                                                                   

But how can I say it to my heart, who is so loyal to you? How can i say it to my heart, when it only stores the beautiful memories of you, as it automatically deletes all the painstaking reminiscences brought by you? How can I say to my heart who only listens to you? And how can say it to my heart who has been blind and numb to all your disregards?               

But deep within, I’m hurting, deep within, my heart is weakening, its gasping. And worst, I’m fastened. So please now, tell it to my heart, so that it may again take its breath.                                                                                                   

Tell it to my heart… tell my heart the words it needs to hear…please… tell it to my heart carefully.